Please, Santa.

Man this thanksgiving weekend just keeps going and going. I feel like I've been off for a week. It's glorious. I got to sleep until 10 this morning (thank you, mister) after getting up at 4am yesterday to work at my moderately priced home goods store part time job.

I've only done the black Friday thing once when we wanted a tv for our bedroom to replace the 537 pound boob tube that was precariously balancing on a tiny shelf. So I do somewhat get the whole deal. But, guys. There were people coming in to the store at 5am that had been shopping since 9pm the night before. They hadn't even gone to bed yet. I'm going to say their lack of sleep was affecting their purchasing judgement. Because we sold some weird shit that morning. A snowman toilet seat cover? I mean who forgoes sleep to buy a toilet seat cover to adorn their porcelain throne for the holidays? A good deal on a tv I understand but a dish rack... I guess I don't get it.

So thanksgiving at our house was great. Quiet afternoon at the farm. Pen ran a fever so that kind of sucked but she slept a lot. I might have ruined thanksgiving dinner when I started talking about eating disorders.... Ones that involved pooping. I don't understand why my family gets so offended by me when they're probably the ones that made me this way.

Now I guess we're on to Christmas season. Pen's birthday, Christmas, leaving my job for student teaching... Big things happening in the next month. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the stress is probably going lead to a double digit weight gain.

Well that posting daily thing really didnt work out so well huh? This thing called life just sort of gets in the way of me updating my blog so that I can tell the world about what I made for breakfast or what I bought at the mall. But, alas, I just discovered an iPhone app for blogger so I might just finish out nablopomo strong.

Happy Thanksgiving, lovelies. I always have a lot to be thankful for and I'm thankful that I have a lot to be thankful for.

How's this for blogging material: pretty sure I just felt an earthquake in Kansas. THE WORLD IS ENDING.

Welp, missed another day. Sorry, I decided to be social with coworkers instead since I have to leave my job in January to student teach. However, even though I'm sad to leave, I found out I will still be in Lawrence for student teaching so I am pumped. Second grade, here I come. Can't believe I will be done in a semester.

Here's a little fun something for you to enjoy: Back in Black

Well happy November, people. You know what November means? DAILY. BLOGGING.

Already missed the first day, as I do every year. So, I'm just carrying on the tradition. Look out for a daily post from this girl *double thumbs to chest.*

I'm starting off with a doozie. Wait, no. I am just throwing up a hello real quick and that's all you're getting tonight. Just finished my third class for the week. Have three papers to write this weekend. Haven't had an uninterrupted night of sleep in about a month. Running on empty, peeps. I will be better tomorrow, k?

Internet? Is that you?

It's been so long, I almost just hit "delete blog" when I logged on here because I figured if I can only blog once every couple of months, what's the point? But, here I am. November is coming soon, so I guess I have to keep this thing alive for the daily posting craziness that is NaBloPoMo.

So, the reason, or multitude of reasons, that I haven't blogged in the last month plus is because I am living life at warp speed. Went back to work-school and back to school-school, and I have also been keeping that part-time job at a moderately priced home goods retailer because, I don't know, I HAVE A DEATH WISH. Oh, and yes, I still have Pen. She hasn't been shipped off anywhere and I haven't lost her (yet), so when I am home (rare), she digs her fingernails into my flesh and orders me to carry her around everywhere because she knows I will be leaving her again in about 15 minutes.

Can I just take a quick break from my bitch and moan session to tell you how incredibly smart this kid is? Tonight in the bathtub, she counted my fingers. She's been able to "count" to 10 for a month or two now, but tonight she actually pointed to each of my fingers and counted them out. Also, the other day, she was digging in the dog's food bowl and I came over and said her first name and middle name and she said her last name. Apparently I break out the motherly firstmiddlelast name combo a lot because the kid knows her last name. I think that's pretty gifted for a 21 month old.

Anyway, back to the fun that is whining about how there are not enough hours in the day! WHEEEE! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I only have to make it to Christmas and then I will be done with work and done with class, and I will just student teach for a whole semester. No more complaining. Granted, then I will probably whine about how I am living in poverty, but beggars can't be choosers.... unless I am literally a beggar, which is a possibility.

Okay, well see you guys in November?

Happy August?
Whew boy, this summer just whizzed right by and I find myself with only 4 days until I go back to work. Full-time work that is. I'm going to hang onto the part time job too. And yes, that's 3 nights a week of classes as well if you're playing at home. So, 2 jobs+3 nights of class+baby= dead by December. It will go fast though, I'm sure of it. Then in the Spring I will student teach and then hopefully I'll find a real job. Or else I might just work at bread, wrath and beyond forever.

So recap of the last half of summer....
Went to Chicago for a quick 36 hour girls weekend. It was glorious. Just what I needed. Got some good face-to-face catch up, ate a hotdog that gave everyone the poops, fell into a borderline diabetic coma, shopped, ate, slept in the cutest condo ever. Oh, and I feel like I should mention I went to the U.S. National Air Guitar Championships. Probably one of the greatest things I've ever done.



Then last week Jas took off a week from work to hang out with us girls. We went to this Monkey Bizness place in Shawnee where P could climb on a million different things.



Then we went to the Children's Museum in Shawnee where she could do a million different things but all she wanted to do was shop in the fake farmer's market and feed the cow.



On a whim, we decided to take a quick overnight jaunt to Des Moines. Bad whim, bad bad whim. Pen sucked. She didn't nap in the car like we thought she would so she went 2 days in a row without a nap, and thus proceeded to act like a rabid monkey the entire time. We did go to the zoo which made her happy.

Next, Jaime turned 21. So crazy. We ate copious amounts of meat at Fogo de Chao.



This week, I've just been enjoying my last week at home with my girl before I never see her this fall. She has grown so much this summer. She can name any animal. She can count to 10. She eats with a fork and a spoon. She loves Mickey Mouse and will watch an entire episode of Blue's Clues (only one particular episode though... I know it by heart now). She likes to grab my butt and yell "butt!" when I get out of the shower. She's unreal.

Hey guess what?! I'm 30! And I feel like I'm 72 and can't keep up with life. Whooo boy, it's been a busy couple of weeks.

I wasn't really planning on much for the ol' birthday, but lo and behold, that man of mine planned a surprise dinner with my fam on the plaza. It was basically the most perfect day of my life. It beats the wedding day. Doesn't quite beat Penny's birth, but close. The three of us decided to go down to the plaza and do a little shopping and walking around in the heat. Since it was so hot, I wore my jorts and men's hanes black undershirt. Nice. Had I known there would be a surprise party waiting for me at Buca di Beppo, I maybe would have worn something other than a men's undershirt, but oh well! We were playing by a fountain on the plaza and Penny threw in a penny (how fitting) and I looked up and there was my aunt Lori. And then I saw Jason's dad and fiance (I forgot to mention that he is getting married... Penny will have 9 grandparents now!)And my sisssy Missy. And then Jason with a big ol' grin on his face. Well played, Coleman.

We had an awesome dinner in the "pope" room where there is a pope's replica head in the middle of the table. Creepy, but hilarious. Penny kept pointing at him and saying "PaPa" since Steve kind of maybe resembles the pope a lil' bit. Penny ran around the entire restaurant like a hellion. We have actually decided that eating out is probably not the best anymore. She used to be awesome but now I would almost rather starve than chase her around a restaurant. Thank god we had our entire family there to switch off chasing duties.

Then the second surprise came when Jas arranged for an overnight at Grandma's (for P, not for us). Going over there is like going to Disneyland for her. Loves it. It gave us a chance to go to a movie. Finally saw Bridesmaids. Peed my pants... maybe pooped them too. I don't know if I have ever laughed so hard.

All in all, the perfect way to usher in a new decade.

Good 'morrow young squires.

It's been a rough week at the ol' house. Everyone but me has been sick, so pretty sure that sh*t's gonna get me this week. Hopefully I have the immune system of a robot and don't get sick. Jason brought it home when he went out of town for work, and it's still been lingering in him for over a week now. Thankfully Pen only had a couple rough days but seems to be better for the most part now.

I have a pretty darn good man though because even though I'm not sick, I can sure act like a sick toddler sometimes. Like last night, I got home from work and was so tired and he ran out and got us DQ. GOLD STAR FOR EXCEPTIONAL HUSBANDRY! (not the animal herding kind) Have I mentioned I'm working part time at a large home goods retailer that rhymes with bread, wrath and beyond? (What rhymes with beyond??) It's pretty tight. I haven't even spent my whole paycheck yet, so I'm practicing really good discipline. It's a good easy job that gets me a little bill money while I'm off this summer. The only thing I don't like is when people feel the need to unfold every. single. towel. Like multiple towels of the same brand, color, size. THEY'RE ALL THE SAME. But, whatevs, my job is to fold them back up so I do. I just find some people's shopping habits slightly annoying. The only other thing that bothers me is that I come home with my back on FIRE. Hauling around these bowling ball boobs while going up and down ladders and lifting and lots of physical stuff makes me feel the need to have a personal masseuse on hand.

Other than that, just hanging out with the P. I have felt like a slightly bad parent this week since we didn't really do anything. I plopped her down in front of the ipad and killed a few hours with various music videos and nursery rhymes on YouTube. She really likes Bieber's "Baby" and The Avett Bro's I and Love and You music video. She does not like Beyonce one bit. She also really likes Old McDonald and Twinkle Twinkle ("pinkle, pinkle" she says the second she wakes up). And, this morning, we discovered that she likes this really odd Indian version of the Hokey Pokey.

That's what's all about.

Hey peeps. Just taking a quick break from running the world. At least that's how I feel right now. During this 2 hour nap period, I am arranging to take a test Monday at Rockhurst, finding subsequent daycare during said test period, showering, possibly booking a flight to DC, and learning about the impact of colonialism on Southeast Asia... all while continually fighting the urge to vomit up the Taco John's I ate for lunch. You need cancer cured while I'm at it? On it.

Happy Father's Day, dudes! We had a great morning out at the farm celebrating with the fam. Miss my dad. Miss my grandpa. But, we shared a couple funny memories this morning, so it was good times! So happy for the memories Penny is going to make with her daddy and PaPa.

It's been a busy week, so here's a little Summa-time recap.

First of all, I have discovered Bear's superpower. His hair can autoregenerate (is that a word?) Basically it grows back the second you cut it. Observe:

Pile o' Bear hair after a haircut.


And afterward he still looked like this. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?


So other than that, we've just been enjoying the awesomeness that is Summer. We've been on hikes around KU:






Going to museums:


Swimming in our classy above-ground pool:


Strolling downtown:




Summer is the tits.

Hidey ho. Penny just went down for a late nap, and I'm blogging on the ipad since I'm too lazy to walk to the computer 10 feet away, so this might be short. As cool as the ipad is, typing on it kind of sucks. It's like an iphone and keeps trying to correct things that don't need correcting. Like when I try to type jonescoleman it says jones ole man. Because that makes soooo much more sense. Ole!

Today I drug my butt out of bed at 5:30 to do Dog Days, our free community boot campy type of workout. They do them 4 days a week, but I only made it to 2 this week. I think that's actually pretty decent. I mean it is summer after all, I can't get up at 5:30 everyday. It goes against nature. Since I was all up and ready to go, I took Penny to the Deanna Rose farmstead for the morning and then we had lunch with my mom. It was freaking HOT at the farm and there were school groups everywhere, so it wasn't all that awesome, but it's free and Penny moo'd like a cow the whole way home which was super cute, so can't really complain. Might swim in our little baby pool on our deck this afternoon. People, I can't describe how much I am loving summer this year. I want to french it.

And, even though I haven't kept completely true to my promise of blogging each and every day, I have done pretty well these last couple of weeks I think. So I hereby make a plea to anyone who reads this who has a blog.... update with something. I have 2 hours in the afternoon to kill everyday and I'd love to read me some blogs. Yes I should be doing homework, but I need something to distract me! I can only look at Ann Taylor Loft so many times.

Wow, for the past two hours I have been reading back over blog posts from 2005-2008. I'm at about summer of '08 when I got canned and moved back to Lawrence from Dallas. Man, this is some good stuff. Some conclusions:

1. I am whiny.
2. I was saying that I wanted to be a teacher back in 2005. WHY DO I FIGHT MYSELF? Here I am getting ready to finally get that damn degree and license in 2012 when I could have just done it back then. Although, then I would have missed out on A LOT of stuff throughout those years... which leads me to #3...
3. I change jobs and hair styles/colors as often as people change their underwear.
4. Booze and food were often the topics of choice before Penny came along.

So weird to read back through your old stuff. I feel like I'm reading someone else's memories.

K, gotta go nighty night. I'm doing this tomorrow at 6am. YOWSA.

I blinked and it's Thursday.

Let me just start this by saying, stay-at-home-moms, I IDOLIZE YOU. I'm looking at you, Shebe. And I only have one.

Pen has actually been a dream this week, apart from Monday when she woke up 30 minutes early and proceeded to act like a blood-thirsty demon the rest of the day. Other than that, she's been the best, but holy hell I am beat. I feel a BIG obligation to her to keep her completely booked... maybe I missed my calling as a Hollywood agent. So, we have been going nonstop. Toddler storytimes at the library, "nature hikes" around KU, Natural History Museum, fingerpainting, etc. Not that I have been running her ragged necessarily, but even when we're home, downtime to a toddler looks like this:

So yeah, there's really no downtime. Unless she's sleeping. But then, it's more clean-up-after-the-tornado-came-through-here time and online class time... did I mention I'm taking three this summer? Icky.

I guess what I'm saying is I kind of want to lay in bed in the air conditioning and watch a Lifetime Original Movie that I've probably seen four times already and eat ice cream straight out of the container. IS THAT SO WRONG?

Seriously, apart from being wiped, I have had an awesome week. For the first time since college, it hit me that I will, for the rest of my life, have a real summer. It's like a weekend that lasts three months. Eff yeah.

Happy Memorial Day... it feels weird saying "happy" Memorial Day since it's really all about remembering those who have given their lives, so I guess just "Memorial Day" to you.

We had a nice windy day out at Grandma and PaPa's farm. Pen is OBSESSED with horses... or "sheshees" as she likes to call them. Fine by me. To steal a line from Tina Fey's book when she writes a prayer for her daughter- "Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short..." As long as this girl loves horses, I think I can refrain from worrying about her in the backseats of cars with boys.

Speaking of my lovey:


And a little random- here's a pic I snapped at the zoo Saturday. I thought it was boss because check out this teamwork! The hippo on one side of the fence is tilting the tree so the hippo on the other side can eat it. I also thought it was interesting because I was not aware that hippos ate trees. I thought they ate babies.


Also this weekend, I HAVE BEEN CRAFTING. Holy cow, my two hands haven't created anything since Penny was born, except maybe a sandwich here or there. But in these last few days, I have made a tutu, a headband with rosettes and a couple hair clips for P. Heavens to Betsy, I might just open me an Etsy shop.




Hard to grasp the awesomeness of this tutu since Penny would only wear it for 0.7 seconds before she started freaking out and clawing her way out of it.

Crashing into bed with a little SNL at 11:20. Been going nonstop all day.... Zoo, pizza, homework, OCD organizing. Yeah that last one was me putting together a summer "curriculum" for Penny complete with field trips and art projects. Lock me up. In a straightjacket.

So you know how you get something in your head and no matter what happens, it must be played out or else, I don't know, THE WORLD ENDS? Anyone else's brain work that way? No? Ok. Well today we decided that we were going to the zoo. It didn't matter that the sky was grey and perma-misting, wearegoingtothezoogoddamnit. So we trekked around that whole place, damp, showing Pen some exotic animals and listening to a surprisingly large amount of hillbillies. I guess hillbillies are the only ones who go to the zoo in the rain. And yes, hillbilly is the PC term for white trash. Sorry if that makes me seem mean, but you guys... I heard someone shout at his kids, "y'all stay away from them sheep!!!" We were in the Africa exhibit. The "sheep" he was referring to were zebras and antelope.

Oh, and I should probably mention that I have a genius child. Today she said a bunch of new words and used a fork. I bet those are two things that the majority of today's zoo goers cannot do.

Good morning, mom. I say mom because I'm pretty sure she's the only one who reads this anymore. I know it might sound like an empty promise because it's been made before, but I'm treating this summer like NaBloPoMo. It's November in June, people. I will throw a little something up every day during Penny's naptime. Cross my heart.

Today is Penny's last day at her in-home daycare. I'm staying home with her this summer, and then she'll go to an actual preschool type place on campus in the Fall. This was a hard decision, especially since she has now started talking about her care givers at home and calling them by name. She also talks about her little friends when we're at home. Makes me wonder if we made the right decision, so I guess we'll see! The overriding thing was that she really needs more space. Remember the tasmanian devil from looney toones?

This is how Penny walks. She needs more room.
She also needs more friends her age, and this new place will also allow us to meet parents of friends her age. PLAYDATES.

Anyway, since I still had work last Monday, I had to pay for an entire week of daycare, so I'm taking advantage and doing things this week that are a lot easier to do solo rather than with one hand while the other hand wrangles a monkey. But, so far all I've done is go through my favorites list on the internet and revisit some old gems that I forgot about. Here are some beauties if you have some good one-on-one time with the internet:

younghouselove
boygirlpary
jen lancaster

Do you know how refreshing it is to wake up knowing you have finally figured out your calling in life? Having been plaugued by the "quarter life crisis" phenomenon for the last 7 or so years, I have finally figured out what I'm supposed to be doing. Good thing it's the thing that I'm borrowing the equivalent of a fully equipped sedan from the government to go to school for. I would have been pissed at myself for the schooling and then becoming a barista instead. I have loved some jobs and hated others, and I have never been able to see myself doing one thing forever. But now I can. It's awesome.

Today was basically the last day of school. We go on Monday but the kids are only there for half a day. My day today consisted of watching some great students get recognized at an awards assembly, helping out with an 8th grade party, watching Michael Jackson music videos on YouTube with a bunch of kids, trying on stripper shoes that a girl brought to school, and massacring students with water guns. I got hugs. I was asked to sign yearbooks. Even got a couple little gifts from students. My heart was bursting all day. Before you go thinking that tax dollars are being wasted in your schools by teachers spending time walking around in stripper shoes shooting kids with water guns, these kids all had such a great year. So proud. Junior high is weird. They seem like high schoolers or even college kids by the way they act and the stuff they know. But then you look at them and notice how much of a kid they still are. They just float in and out of childhood and adolescence. They are Penny in 13 years.

The only downside of this job that I want to do for the rest of my life... I will be so sad at the end of May every year.

Hey peeps, hot and fresh back from Louisiana, New Orleans to be exact. This trip was the mister's idea after we got our tax return back. Instead of paying some bills, we decided that return would be better spent on tickets to the New Orleans Jazz Fest. Money well spent indeed. We'll see if I still feel that way when my electricity gets cut off.

I kid, I kid. But seriously, New Orleans has gotten expensive. We've been there four times now and I feel like now it's a little out of hand. But, it was good to see so many people there pumping money into the city. Scary how dirty and broken down it still is in parts. I witnessed this first-hand when we took a 45 minute walk through the projects. But, I'm jumping ahead. Let's start at the beginning....

Pen stayed with Gramma and PaPa while we jetted off Thursday. Let me just say that traveling when you have a kid is a whole different ballgame. We didn't even take Penny with us but by the time we got her all packed, dropped off the dog at the kennel and just did all the prep for the trip, I was kind of ready not to go and sleep for 12 hours instead. Exhausting. But, we made it off on Thursday. I might have had a vodka on the plane. The flight attendant and the mister both gave me a bit of a judgemental look to which I replied I'M ON VACATION! Once we got in and settled we ate some din at Crescent City Brewery and pretty much called it a night after that.

Friday was the day that can only be described as heaven but with a little hell mixed in.

Heaven= Cafe Du Monde beignets and coffee


Heaven= Jazz Fest, Mumford and Sons and the Avett Bros outdoors, the most amazing food you'll ever eat in your life, and perfect weather when the wind blew.


Of course this is not my video, but this is way better than the loud far-away video I took. However, I'd like to provide you with my fave Avetts song. "There was a dream and one day I could see it, Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it." Beautiful.


Hell= really hot weather when the wind was not blowing and drunk sweaty people not understanding the concept of personal space. Also, some girls wearing only their bras thought it would be a good idea to snort some cocaine behind us.

Purgatory= a 45 minute walk through a pretty unsafe part of town. After the concert when the taxi line literally wrapped around a football field, we decided to save $10 and hoof it back to the hotel. Turns out, people don't take cabs just because it's convenient. They take them because you might get stabbed if you don't. I'm calling this purgatory though, because nothing really happened, and we saw a couple cute kids on the walk.

So now let's get to the part that made the entire trip. I SAW NICHOLAS CAGE IN AN ICE CREAM SHOP. I have never seen a celebrity in real life. Imagine how thrilled Jason was that the celebrity we see is the actor he hates the most. Hate is actually a mild word for what Jason feels for Nick Cage. He had to restrain me from taking a picture while I had to restrain him from walking up to him and telling him what a douche bag he thinks he is. He was there with his wife and kid... I'm guessing the same wife he verbally abused the weekend before which caused his short stint in a New Orleans jail. The man looked a little rough, guys. Dressed nice, but he didn't smile once, and his hair looked like Beetlejuice's, except brown.

Anyway, we saw the Cagester while we were shopping and walking through the cutest area pretty well out of the Quarter. Magazine Street. We went back later that night to a delish Carribean restaurant. Oh, and that morning we went to Mother's. Apparently it's famous, and yes I had the ham.


We did have one little time out on Bourban Street, but nothing to write home about. We're just different travelers now. We like our drink, but the days of binging and washing the whole night down with a cheeseburger or taco bell are few and far between. Plus, Bourban Street seems weird to me now. Maybe I'm just old but the whole thing screams "HAVE SEX WITH ME." There is some real desperation on that street.

So I feel like all I talked about was food and Nick Cage. But, the food was really impressive. Nick Cage, not so much. Every other time we've gone to New Orleans, I feel like the food was just average, but this time it was the tits. So, if you need a little getaway, do New Orleans. Do it hard.

Me: "I'm trying to tell you something important."
Student: "I'm not going to change the world with it, tell me tomorrow."

Again, love my job.

So incredibly cliche, but I cannot believe how fast time goes. Last post was a month ago already? What the french toast is going on? I had a week off for Spring Break, and that already seems like it was last year. Things have been moving at warp speed for the past two weeks, and I'm just trying to keep up.

First of all, there are no words for how I feel when the weather is nice. The last two weekends have been so phenomenal, I think I have received a sneak peek of what heaven looks like. Last weekend we had a little Kansas City vacation and went places we have never been in all the time we've lived here.

We went to the City Market and Riverside and had lunch at a Mexican place on Southwest Boulevard.... basically all the quintessential KC things, and we had never done them. We're too busy doing things like going to Target.

Enjoying a chocolate chip cookie.


My lovies before we had the best. mexican food. ever.


Pen at the Reading Reptile bookstore.


My most wonderful purchases of the weekend. That cupcake on the bottom left was a key lime cupcake. It changed my life.

And here's just some random pics of Pen from the last month:



Totally showing this to all of her dates when she's a teenager.


Her itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini.

This weekend we spent some good time in Lawrence, hitting up the first farmer's market of the season and browsing the library's annual book sale. I picked myself up a copy of a Sweet Valley High book and a Christopher Pike book. REMEMBER CHRISTOPHER PIKE BOOKS? I kind of squealed when I saw them. I hadn't thought about those since I was 12.

Tonight we're going to see Bill Maher at Liberty Hall, and I'm pumped. Gramma and Papa are coming over to watch Penny while we go see that "crackpot" as my mom calls him. Wheeeeee!!!

Oy. Sorry I go away for extended periods of time and then come back with nuthin'. Basically, things that have happened in the last month:

1. Taking a little trip to the Big Easy end of April for the Jazz Festival. Going to see Mumford & Sons and the Avetts. This was 100% my hub's idea, and it kind of made me fall in love with him all over again. Instead of spending our tax return wisely to pay something off or save for my student teaching semester when I will be unpaid for 9 months, we're doing it. And I don't feel bad about it. You only live once right?

2. I am loving my job. It definitely has its downs, but one little comment from a student can make my day, week, month. They are hilarious. I love them. They went to a Model United Nations competition this week and took 1st and 3rd place. I may have cried a little. I can't wait to have my own classroom, my own lessons, and my own environment where I can do what I want.

3. Pen is a full blown toddler. No more bottles. Talking up a storm. Plays on jungle gyms and throws an award winning temper tantrum. She has been an absolute dream the last couple of weeks, and all of a sudden has such a happy demeanor. This is a nice change from the teething devil that was residing in our home for the past few months. When Penny ain't happy, nobody's happy. When Penny ain't sleeping, nobody's sleeping. Life is good again.

4. No school today, so I sent P to daycare this morning so I could clean the house, pay bills, gather my sanity. So far, I have balanced the checkbook and spent an hour looking at prints on Etsy. Here are some of my faves:

Well hello. Coming off one of the better weekends. I felt human again this weekend. Penny, I love her, but she was overdue for an overnight at Grandma's. This gave the mister and I time to have a nice dinner out that lasted more than 30 minutes since we didn't have to inhale everything before the baby had a meltdown. We had a bottle of wine, dessert, the works. Then we played a nice long round of Lego Harry Potter on Wii, a game I got Jason at Christmas that we hadn't even opened yet. Video game playing and fingernail painting are two things that I rarely do anymore... probably because I need both hands free to pull my child off the walls.

Then after sleeping 11 hours, Jason and I played basketball together at the gym, something we hadn't done since before I was pregnant. And let me tell you, if Penny has my genes, she will be a baller. I killed it.

It was a great weekend to send me into a week of insanity where I will be a single mother from Monday through Saturday while Jason goes to Vegas for work. I honestly do not understand how single moms do it. I basically have to rearrange my work schedule to coincide with daycare hours since I will be doing all the dropping off and picking up. I can't go to the gym. I'm skipping both of my classes this week. I realize I am very lucky and probably a little spoiled with all Jas does, but how do single moms do ANYTHING? Yowsers.

I'm pumping myself up with some recent purchases from iTunes. These are my faves lately, give them a listen:

MGMT... Kids
Okkervil River... Unless It's Kicks
The Black Keys... Tighten Up

Cute, isn't he?
Except, that bone... we always joked about him whittling the tips to form a dagger-type weapon that he could use on us one day. Turns out, it's no joke.

Bear tried to kill me last night.

Here I thought one day he would try and stab me with that bone, but turns out the dog is pretty cunning. He simply left that bone directly in the middle of the stairs so that when someone gets up in the middle of the night to turn up the thermostat in the pitch black, all she has to do is take one step, and before she knows it, she's in a heap at the bottom of the stairs wondering which way is up and wondering if her ass is broken.

Have you ever taken a tumble and had time on your way down to think about things? Even though this fall was probably 0.2 of a second and encompassed only about 5 stairs, I literally had time to think, "Goddamnit, dog, I knew this was going to happen one day... I hope I don't break my neck... God, this is loud, this better not wake up the baby... DID MY STAIRCASE GROW? WHEN AM I GOING TO HIT THE BOTTOM?!" My butt hit every step on the way down. My legs were up over my head, arms flailing. I had absolutely zero opportunity to catch myself. And then when I landed, I laid at the bottom of the stairs for 15 minutes, holding my ass and trying to cry as quietly as possible so as not to wake the baby.

I thought he might be jealous of the baby now that he doesn't get as much attention. He's been acting this out by somehow finding her dirty socks and swallowing them whole. But trying to kill me is a new low.

It's halfway into the first month of the new year, so I thought I'd go ahead and throw a little post up here. I tell you, with all these snow days and MLK holidays, I am BUSY. Uh, no. I am not complaining about all the time off, but between winter break and three more days off only three weeks into January... my bank account is crying. And I'm slightly bored. But, Penny is a pretty good time suck, and Spring classes start next week so I'll be busy soon enough. I'm just worried because you know me... if I don't have a million things going on at once, I tend to make elaborate life plans that involve opening vending machine businesses in Alaska or something equally insane.

The time I have been at work has been pretty awesome. I made a grammar unit to teach the kids. I hope it's not too easy for them. I was helping one kid this past week study for a geography bee, and I was asking him questions which involved countires I didn't know existed and events from 2001 that I don't recall happening. But this 13 year old kid knew it all. Made me think my grammar lesson might be for kindergarteners, but we'll see. It includes this video which I think is fun:


Speaking of videos, I'm uploading a bunch of Pen so stay tuned. They are all of her being super sweet, which is kind of a lie. Today she literally beat me up. I didn't take any video of it because I didn't want any evidence lest the cops show up and arrest her for assault. Today I was open palm slapped, kicked, and had my eyeballs clawed. And she did it all with a smile on her face. I hope she doesn't Lizzie Borden me when she's a teenager.

Um, okay, where did I leave off? Apparently when I said I was back blogging "with a vengence" I meant that I had a one-time wild hair to blog that day. So let's see, what's been going on the last few weeks....

1. PENNY IS ONE! One crazy baby that is. And one year old. I've heard of the terrible two's but is there a horrible one's? Nah, she's not that bad. But for real it's like she learned how to run away from me and throw tantrums over night. She even immediately mastered the "make my body go limp while screaming" routine so that it's near impossible to pick her up. On the other hand, she makes my heart skip a beat every time she says mama.


2. I am LOVING the new job. I mean what's not to love? We watched Grease, Despicable Me, How to Train Your Dragon, and Finding Nemo these last couple weeks. Then I went to a teacher happy hour and now I'm off for 16 days. Pretty awes. Let's see if it's still pretty awes when I get back and actually have stuff to do. I'm pumped though. Before break I worked up a nice little grammar unit complete with games and a powerpoint. It makes grammar look like the most fun thing in the world.

3. Christmas was just about the best it's ever been this year. Probably because of Penny, and probably because we were snowed in last year and I had stitches in my abdomen so we kind of skipped it last time. I may have indulged in a little too much merriment, though, so I didn't get any pictures. But Santa brought us a Flip so be prepared for many a video posted here in the future.

Okay, I needed a week off from that daily blogging madness, but now I'm back with a vengence. I finally have things to discuss now that the holidays are here, classes are finished tomorrow, and I work with junior high kids.

I should turn this blog into a log of things I hear them say each day. Let me just say, I am in my element. People who say things like "fresh toot" and "weiner".... my kind of people. Granted, they are 14, so what does that say about me? I don't care, I love it. I will probably have horrible classroom management skills since I'll be too busy laughing at the nerdy white kid in the corner doing the UNK Walk it Out dance instead of telling him that he should sit down and do his homework. I wasn't so sure about this job for the first few days, but now I'm thinking it's probably going to be pretty sweet.

Speaking of sweet....

This little lady turns one on Monday. ONE YEAR. Talk about the fastest year in the history of the world. It seems like just a blink ago that I was swaddling her in blankets and checking to make sure she was breathing every five seconds. Now, she is trying so desperately to run a marathon, and I only check to make sure she's breathing every couple of hours.

Wow, what a November. Can't believe I only missed one day in the face of all the craziness!

Speaking of crazy, tonight after class Jason and I were standing in the kitchen chatting while making my after class blue box mac'n'cheese, a new after class ritual I really need to break, and all of a sudden our oven range hood falls from the sky, sparks, and takes with it all the electricity from our kitchen. I guess it had only been hanging on by two measly screws for the last five years and picked the time when I was boiling a pot of scalding water under it to finally fall off. Had a heart attack and then had that mac.

So I will try to make up for this week's sucky posts by keeping this thing rolling into December, especially once I get the camera back from my mom's house and can post photos instead of lame stories about oven range hoods. But whatevs, I nablopomo'd all over this thang so yeah!

Started bright and early at a new job, followed by class, followed by writing a paper, followed by death. No, wait, not that last one, but I feel like someone could punch me in the face right now and I wouldn't really care. Let's just say, this first day.... not so impressed. I'm reluctant to say more because I want to chalk it up to first-day blahs where you don't know anyone and you don't know what you're doing. All I know is my workday consisted of:

1. Watched a teacher gift wrap a pair of Santa boxers for her son.
2. Ate a pb&j.

Um. Yeah.

TODAY:
Furiously painting in preparation for hosting people at our house in a couple weekends for Penny's Big Birthday Extravaganza. Painting trim, painting living room, painting myself into an early grave. I am beat.

TONIGHT:
I watched It's Complicated with Meryl Streep. I hope I'm as cool as that woman when I'm in my 50s...60s? I don't know how old she is, but I love her. The movie was okay. Entertaining, but maybe I would have liked it more if I were divorced and menopausal.

TOMORROW:
I start a new job. A little scared, a little excited. I feel like I'm actually on the way to something, and that's neat. I also resume classes for the last two weeks of the semester. Thanksgiving break was NICE. I am ready to be done with this semester and switch from three nights a week to two next semester. Then I am ready to switch to zero nights a week. I just want to be through! One more year and a semester of student teaching. Judging from how fast this first year with Penny went, I have a feeling it will be here before I know it.